hello peoples its me again :) did you miss me?

time for more talking i guess.

do you ever want to do something but its gonna be embarassing somehow even though your not showing it to anyone? i got a bad case of that shit and boy does it suck. im perfectly capable and willing to do that shit but my brain wont let me. theres always that nagging feeling that someone is gonna see it before its ready and think it looks like shit. or that it think its great and ready to go and then i come back after its already out there and realize its shit. i know nothinng can get out if i dont let it, but its still scary. i know this is the most easily solvable problem in the history of forever. no but. it literally is the stupidest reason not to do something. theres also the feeling of "what if someone has already done this before and i just look like a cheap copy" that really fucking stinks. maybe i just should try doing something. just turn my brain off for a minute and slap something up here. im sure you newgrounds people will be chill with that.

im feeling more like i can do that stuff now too. i finaly found people who get it. im not afraid to like what i like around them. i know i can get good responses to my actions from someone and that feeling fucking rocks. especially after not having that for 13 straight years. they can be like my test audience i guess.

high school is cool as hell. probably just because i havent gotten to all the bullshit yet since i litterally just walked in the building a month ago. from what i can gather from my friends in higher grades is that freshmen and seniors are bassically babied, freshmen because we litterally are babies, and seniors because they have to be adults in a few months. Juniors are the next most important because they are almost seniors. thats it. Sophmore year is apparently, according to my friends, when the teachers stop giving a shit about you, because you arent new anymore, you aren't leaving, and you aren't preparing to leave. you're just kinda there too. thats how it is at my school at least.

anyway so yeah hope you enjoyed part 3 of my random late night newgrounds rambling sessions. imma go to bed now.

hey its me again. back to talk about more shit thats been going on. updates on old stuff, and talking about new stuff.

alright so do you remember the last post like this where i was talkin about how my friends and I were making a game? yeah so the leader guy finaly figured out that this project was going nowhere and has postponed it indefeanately. we probably should have done that when the fucking coder guy left but whatever.

my youtube channel is a mess right now. i havent really had a consistent upload schedule for about two months now. partly because i've been doing like family stuff, but also because i have a lot on my mind. i really want to make music and do art and stuff, but i don't know where to start. it want to animate shit but to do that i need to learn how to draw anything besides glorified stick figures. i've kinda tried making music. i posted an fnf song i made on newgrounds a while ago, (its shit don't listen to it btw,) but the main thing i didn't know how to do was make an instrumental. i can do the vocals well enough though.

i've been kinda trying to branch out from just gaming videos. i love to buy stuff. if you hand me a credit card, theres a good chance i'll buy almost the entire Lego and Pokemon Card section in any store. i've been opening pokemon cards and action figures and shit on my channel. just to experiment. no-one really watches those videos, or any of my other videos for that matter, but to the four viewers who watch every video you guys are fucking legends!

back to the animation and art stuff, i have a small group of oc characters that exist solely in my brain. they're all human. just thought i should mention that because not everyone's brain immediatly jumps to "normal ass human being" when the term oc comes up. they're pretty cool. their complexity as characters really just depends on how much lore i feel like giving them. for example, one is a literal anime girl who hates everything anime and pretty much does the most un-anime things an anime girl has ever done. shes practically the female equivalent of Eric Cartman if he was cappable of being a normal human being for more than 5 seconds. (thats the best explanation i can give without giving too much information.) another character's entire personality and way of life is cooking burgers at the food court at a mall. thats all she does. she cooks burgers. see what i mean by saying their complexity is whatever the fuck i feel like? theres more, but i feel like i've already rattled on about this for way longer that i really should so i'll save that for another time. you'll get to see them one day. probably on newgrounds now that i think about it. newgrounds is the place where shit like this would fit best i think.

If you're reading this, how the fuck did you not get bored halfway through? i sat at my computer for a good hour writing this shit and somehow, you, being the madlad you are, read the whole damn thing. so yeah, thanks for reading. i'll see you soon i guess.

bye newgrounds :)

i built this. i don't know why. i just did it. it just happened. i opened minecraft and i just built something. its not supposed to be something. it doesn't mean anything. it just exists. i just opened minecraft knowing i wanted to build something and this is what i built. i didn't think about what it should be. i didn't think about what it's for. i didn't think about what it was made of. i just built.

alright so i just wanted to come on here to talk about what i got goin on bc i can. can't just go on twitter and start yelling about your life and shit because some thirty-year-old peice of shit with no life will just rip you apart bit by bit. so thats why im yapping about this shit on newgrounds. i don't care if people see it, i just wanna write this down. again, im writing this because i can.

i just found out about this level system they got goin on newgrounds. i wanna get that level number really high. i've figured out that you just gotta rate stuff to get xp. thats why i've been on newgrounds a lot lately, just watchin shit, playin games, just so i can critique them to raise a number that basically means im on the internet constantly and have no life. unfortunately for me i actually have a life so i can't just sit here all day, as much as i kinda want to. summer vacation is in a week tho so i'll probably be on here a lot more.

im making a friday night funkin mod in my free time. its just me right now but, at some point its gonna have all my friends and all my shitty little characters that i invented in it too. its gonna kick ass. but before there can be any ass kicking i have to make an ass to kick. (aka, make the fucking mod.) ive got my song and sprites basically done i just gotta figure out how to cram them in a psych engine mod pack and make it work. its gonna end up being like that ddlc fnf mod that just has a fucking shitload of content in it. that'll take years tho, and im just one person. im gonna have to find a team somewhere to help. the funkin crew is right, makin games is really fucking hard.

speaking of making games my friend started a game studio and dove headfirst into making a game. he, our other friend, and I are the only employees. we have absoloutely nothing done except the script. (which im like 70% sure isn't even finished. he refuses to show it to us.) there is not even any CONCEPT art for anything, and the music... oh good fucking lord the music. our sound guy, (the other friend) is trying his best but jesus christ it sounds like shit. its only a melody and its the most ear-grating beeping sounds i've ever fucking heard. the friend who started this mess originally wanted the game done by august. OF THIS YEAR. oh did I mention we dont even have anyone to code the fucking game? yeah we had kinda found a guy, but my genius of a friend pretty much FORCED him to join the project, so he left before leaving us with even any scraps of coding. im not mad at him, he had no choice in joining this stupid ass project. if this guy wants this game to be a reality than this guy has got to get his fucking shit together. (im not trying to harrass this guy or anything, its just this one thing thats pissing me off. if you somehow know who im talking about then don't harrass him.)

sorry for being so negative, but that shit is driving me insane. anyway, if your reading this, thanks for reading my wall of text. sorry to shout all my problems out into the newgrounds ethos, but god damnit i needed to vent a little. i might post songs and art and shit from my mod on newgrouds if i feel like it, so come back to gawk at my shitty attempt to make a work of art every now and then if you want. anyway, im tired of writing so i'll leave you be now. also im gonna plug my youtube channel now hehe :) cybesd.com

bye newgrounds ;)